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You're not the problem. The problem is the problem.

You're not the problem. The problem is the problem.

In this issue: an alternative to you vs me, the best metric for success, if people pleaser was an emoji, and why the grass is greener.

PJ Milani
January 28, 2026

🤔 INTERESTING

Visual metaphor by milaniCREATIVE.art showing two top-down perspectives of a conflict. On the left, two heads face each other with a tangled scribble between them, labeled “Fighting Each Other.” On the right, the same two heads face the scribble together, with a shared focus zone on the problem itself labeled “Fighting the Problem.” The image compares adversarial versus collaborative problem-solving in a simple, conceptual way.

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Divided focus vs United focus.

📐 DESIGN

In this short clip with my buddy, psychologist and executive coach, Corey Wilks, we dig into the most important metric of success as a creator.

By the way, if you like Corey’s vibe, his course, The Alchemy of Fear, starts in a couple days.

It’s a 6-week live program designed to help you dive into the most common fears holding you back in life and business. Corey’s main goal in his course is to help folks learn to transform fear into a catalyst for growth.

Instead of becoming an affiliate, I asked Corey if he’d pass on whatever he’d pay me as a discount for my readers.

So if this is something you’re interested in, use code MILANI to save $400.

🔮 ENCHANTING

Visual metaphor by milaniCREATIVE.art titled “If People Pleaser Was an Emoji.” The illustration features three inflatable tube figures in different exaggerated, bendy poses, arms flailing, bodies contorted, similar to car dealership mascots. Their expressions are cheerful, but overly accommodating. The playful visual exaggerates the idea of self-distortion for approval of chronic people-pleasing.

Share what emoji I should make next here

Painful how often I feel like the poor inflatable stickman here. 🫠

🧠 ANALOGY

Visual metaphor by milaniCREATIVE.art showing the contrast between desire and effort. The top half of the image depicts a character longing for greener grass on the other side, with the label “What people want.” In the bottom half, a second character is seen watering the grass to make it grow, labeled “What people don’t see.” The visual shows how visible results are often rooted in invisible effort and consistent care.

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The grass is greener where you water it.

🤓 WHAT I’M READING NOW

“Poorly Drawn Lines: Good Ideas and Amazing Stories” by Reza Farazmand

Reza Farazmand's Poorly Drawn Lines: Good Ideas and Amazing Stories collects the best of his popular webcomic of the same name. The comics are full of irreverent, satirical absurdity, but I was surprised to find myself laughing out loud at the short essays too! Just as dark and whimsical as the strips. Fair warning: if profanity isn't your thing, this one's probably not for you. But if you're a fan of the absurd, it's a treat.

The Emotional Chameleon

Another comic from the book, Poorly Drawn Lines.

One of my favorites 😂

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